WORLD NEEDS DICK MANAGEMENT
man who has a dick and every woman who loves him and must deal with him, think
they know enough to use the equipment properly, without an instruction manual.
The dick appears to be user friendly–no need to learn how it works, what it
should be doing or what it should not be doing. You assume that your dick will
find its own way in the world. It is, after all, not a shy organ, nor an
overly complicated one, and it certainly seems to have a simple enough agenda:
you just use it whenever and wherever the urge takes you. What could be
imagine getting into a new car that didn’t have a steering wheel, brakes or
a fuel gauge. If a sales person presented this to you as a complete
automobile, you would think he or she was insane. Your dick is just like
that–it comes without steering, brakes or a fuel gauge. These are
accessories that you must personally add to your rod in order to increase its
usefulness. If you don’t learn how to steer and stop, and monitor your
rod’s fuel consumption, you won’t be able to take much of a quality trip
down this road we call life.
us step outside of the car and driver analogy and look at your dick more
closely. Your dick has a dark side, a serious history that has, give or take a
few millennia, three million years of evolution behind it. Yes, Mr. Dick and
his girlfriends got us here, but he is also part of a biological survival
system that has been associated with a history of looting, pillage, rape,
torture, assault, and every form of socially destructive behavior imaginable.
I’m going to make the case that these are the inevitable results of
untutored, testosterone- laden dicks going about their business–cars running
amok if you will–without drivers. You don’t need to look very far to see
the evidence. Perhaps you saw it on the bus this morning, as a teenager
surreptitiously spat on a senior citizen, or in artless graffiti tagging on
fences and walls, or in a newspaper report about spousal abuse, or when
someone gave you the finger on the freeway because you didn’t get out of the
way quickly enough.
dick might also be thought of as a heat-seeking missile, and it has one simple
target: a warm place to explode. But like all missiles, it needs a
well-trained fire control officer. Properly guided, your dick can lead the way
to love, happiness, family and fulfillment. Unguided, it can lead you to
depression, divorce, illness, violence and even death. An untutored dick is a
dangerous dick–ask any woman–but there are countless men who have mastered
their organs and led inspirational lives. This book presents ideas about
energy, moral development, and sexual management from many different cultures
and philosophies that will help you become such a man. These ideas, put into
practice, will enhance your moral and social consciousness and show you how to
have more energy to become who you really are.
What Is Dick Management?
our society we appreciate and teach concepts such as time management, resource
management, cash flow management, personnel management and information
management systems, but for the most part we ignore the most important kind of
management of all–Dick Management.
Management is an ecology of personal energy use that studies destructive
impulses from the perspective of philosophy and science. It is a new
discipline that integrates the metaphysical wisdom of the ancients, from
Socrates to Lao Tzu, from Christ to Gandhi, with the discoveries and
implications of post-quantum physics for meaning in our lives, and applies it
to our most primitive biological urges.
Management is about discovering what truly works for you and your dick:
discovering your own personal life ethic. It is not about simply saying
“no” or strictly controlling your desires, but rather, about saying
“yes” to something larger than the tunnel vision of the Cyclops in your
pants. Managing your dick is about making good choices about how you use your
energy, about making compromises between what you want in the short term, and
what you really desire in the long run. More importantly, it is about
discovering who you really are and finding your place in the universe.
Managing your dick is the beginning of a long journey toward your own future,
and ultimately, an encounter with your soul.
day the Lord came to Adam to pass on some news. “I’ve got some good news
and some bad news,” the Lord said. Adam looked at the Lord and said,
“Well, give me the good news first.” Smiling, the Lord explained,
“I’ve got two new organs for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you
to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations
with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you
to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will
be very happy that you now have this organ to give her Children.” Adam, very
excited, exclaimed, “These are great gifts you have given to me. What could
possibly be bad news after such great tidings?” The good Lord looked upon
Adam and said with great sorrow, “The bad news is that when I created you, I
only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time.”